Thursday, April 30, 2009

Kosong

Harddisk baru.

160 Gb.

Rp750000 / RM250.

Kosong.

Sekosong otak aku.

Tapi harap-harap, otak aku takkan sesekali corrupt seperti harddisk lama aku.



p/s- aku dah letak Feedjit kat bawah tu, pas ni boleh la aku tau seberapa popular kah aku di dunia maya ini. hiks

Monday, April 27, 2009

Sabar

aku kena banyak-banyak bersabar sekarang ni...

aku sedang menghadapi masalah yang maha besar...

beban yang maha dahsyat aku rasakan sekarang ini, lebih dahsyat dibanding ketika aku putus cinta suatu ketika dahulu, sampailah aku tak lagi berani untuk membiarkan cinta hadir kembali kedalam hati ku (ayat yang ni, acah je tau. gurau2. hiks)



Harddrive aku crash. apa yang aku dah taip untuk minor thesis aku, semuanya lesap



Tinggal sebulan untuk penyerahan...

Namun syukurlah.
Syukurlah kerana aku masih punya waktu satu bulan.
Syukurlah kerana aku masih punya hard-copy yang telah dicetak, walaupun edisi sebelum di revisi.
Syukurlah kerana ayah aku sanggup menanggung kos perbaikan laptop ku.

Syukurlah kerana aku masih punya teman-teman yang terus-menerus memberikan aku semangat dan sokongan dalam menyelesaikan projek minor thesis ini.
Adakah anda salah seorang daripada mereka?

p/s- i really could use moral support right now

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Snippets

Snippets


Snippet 0.5


I giggled crazily after reading Nivvy's comment, saying that i am charisma and everything. 

it's not like i don't like it, instead, i do LOVE it. 

i just can't handle compliments very well. i don't hide it. i flaunt it at every chances i get.  

and now, i am blogging about it. heheh.

one compliment is all i need to make my day a wonderful one. heheheh.


see, i never think that i am a great person at anything.

but people's compliments are important to me, to motivate me. hiks.

it was like in high school, where i hate bio at first (and now l am studying medicine?? how irony) because my marks almost always hampir gagal, or gagal.

one day, i scored 90-something on my objective paper of biology, and people were saying nice thing to me, even the teacher.

aku pun kembanglah, apa lagi. 

since that day, i start to love biology. hiks. oh ya, i score 90-something not because i was genius, it was because the questions set was the same with the questions set from my reference book, which i'd done earlier. heheh.


the same things (about compliments of people, not about questions that i'd answered previously) happened to other subject, such as Chemistry, and Bahasa Inggeris. 



Thanks Nivvy, although we never met, and u don't really know me, i reckon it was sincere ehh? heheh. 



Snippet 1


"shan, ntar lo di Malaysia kerjanya sama pemerintah (government), apa sama swasta, apa buka praktek sendiri?"


"pemerintah kali ya, soalnya yg biaya gue kan JPA"


"gajinya kecil dong kalau sama pemerintah? lo ga mau ke swasta atau buka praktek?"


"gue ga terlalu mikirin soal itu lho. yg penting, gue bisa beli Playstation 3..."



aku tak bercita-cita tinggi pun. hiks



Snippet 2


lately, i found myself lost in the world of seriousness.

i mean, i wasn't like this when i was in high school.

or is it because i am not in hi school anymore, that's y i am more arse than i used to be.

like most people said, age of 21, age of independence? key to independence?

independence my arse.

how old am i now? what the heck, age is just a number.

A VERY IMPORTANT NUMBER.

i become more serious, and i reject and can't accept any disobedient.

as example, i felt repulsed with people who didn't attend lectures because they think they were cool, or just because they were lazy, and having others to sign the attendance for them. honestly, i don't think they would become good doctors with such attitude.

but who am i to judge? i intentionally missed almost 50 days out of 183 school-day when i was in form 4. heheeee.

so whatever kind of person they want to be, what the eff, its not my life.


and for me, i myself wasn't sure what kind of doctor i am going to be, because i have my backup plan if i wasn't succeed to become a successful one.

what's my backup plan?


singing kot. heheh.


i am not an optimist, i am a pessimist. i don't get my hope high, yet i am hoping for to best, and prepare for the worse.



Snippet 3


we are going to enter clinical year soon (wish me all the best k),

so my batch are going to have some kind of batch dinner later in June.

this is so not my thing.

i hate it whenever the word 'involvement is compulsory' came out from the mouth of our future politician (because some of them were so good in manipulating words) the committee of the event, because,


i don't do thing that require me to pay certain amount of money.


i mean, if the reason is to make a memory to be remembered together, do great memory really require u to spend a lot of money? 

i was not born with silver spoon, so yeah, i am stingy and everything, and i believe that happy memory are not suppose to be expensive, all the requirements are to be with the right people. whenever u r together with the right people, every single thing u do together is a great memory for u to be remembered.

(alasan org kedekut, tapi make sense kan? heheh)

oh ya, and obviously, i am not comfortable with some of my batch mates, as usual, i also known as the person of crisis.

i know most people doesn't like me, which i don't really care, because it's not what people think of me become a matter to me, it's what i think of people. heheh


so, no point la kann kalau aku pegi pun?


i rather spend my money on chocolates, and ice-creams, and shoes.


tapi aku mungkin pegi juga lahh. hoho


tinuk la nanti.





















Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Jumaat yang Baik

sesekali nak tulis berkaitan sejarah dan agama plak...
sabtu lepas aku tgk 1 movie kat tv ni, tajuk dia The Passion Of Christ, pengarah Mel Gibson.
filem ni dulu pernah jd kontroversi, mendapat tentangan dari org Yahudi.

jalan cerita filem tu mmg hampir 100% mirip story from the Bible,
terutama aku plg igt kalimat dr mulut Yesus sewaktu dia di kayu salib
"Eli, Eli! Lama sabachtani?"
(Tuhan, mengapa Kau melupakan aku?)
ini jugalah antara kalimat plg kontroversi ttg ketuhanan Yesus menurut agama Kristian. yang dipersoalkan adalah mengapa Yesus mengucapkan kalimat tadi? tapi aku bukan mahu bahas ttg kalimat ini disini.

filem tu sgt seram.
babak penyeksaan dalam filem tu, lebih dahsyat dibanding mana2 babak dlm filem Saw.
secara ringkas, Yesus ditangkap krn perangkap salah seorang drpd 12 pengikut nya (the twelve disciples / 12 hawarayin), bernama Yudas (Yahudza).
Yudas diberikan ganjaran oleh pendeta agama Judaisme.
para pendeta agama Judaisme ini tidak menyukai kehadiran Jesus, krn mereka yakin Jesus hanya menyusahkan hidup mereka para pendeta Yahudi selama ini yg hidup dlm kepalsuan, sedangkan kehadiran Yesus dalam masyarakat Yahudi ketika itu adalah utk memperbaiki keadaan kehidupan masyarakat Yahudi.
sbg contoh, Yesus melanggar aturan Sabbath (hari sabtu, org yahudi tidak dibenarkan beraktiviti apa pun) utk membantu org yg hidup susah di jalanan, tp pendeta Yahudi dgn keras menuduh Jesus sbg ingkar, dan ini antara banyak alasan yang diberikan pendeta Yahudi mengapa Yesus harus dihukum bunuh.
pengikut Yesus juga semakin lama semakin ramai, ini turut membimbangkan pendeta agama Judaisme / Yahudi tadi.
akhirnya Yeus berjaya ditangkap,
dan terlebih dahulu diseksa sebelum dibawa ke pengadilan.
Sesampai di tpt pengadilan, Governor (aku lupa nama dia), berat hati utk menjatuhkan sbrg hukuman, kerana Governor td tidak menemukan sbrg kesalahan Yesus mengapa dia harus dihukum mati, sedangkan desakan dari para pimpinan / pendeta agama Judaism td terlalu kuat.
Governor td memutuskan supaya Jesus dibawa menemui Raja Herod , kerana Yesus hidup dilingkungan dibawah kekuasaan Raja Herod.
Raja Herod juga menolak utk menghukum Yesus, kerana dia juga tidak menemui kesalahan Yesus.
Yesus dibawa sekali lagi menemui Governor, dan akhirnya Governor terpaksa menjatuhkan hukuman penyeksaan terhadap Yesus, dgn syarat tidak sampai mati.
Governor sebenarnya serba salah, krn apa pun keputusannya, pertumpahan darah antara anti dan pro Yesus akan berlaku.
Yesus dibawa ke tempat hukuman,
dan babak Yesus di tempat hukuman tadi amat dahsyat, lebih dahsyat dibanding dgn mana2 adegan di filem Saw.
Pertama, Yesus dibantai dgn kayu / rotan sehingga hampir pengsan, tp Yesus tetap bertahan.
penghukum menukar rotan tadi dgn rantai besi berhujungkan juntaian paku...
setiap kali Yesus disebat dgn rantai besi tadi, setiap kali jugalah bahagian kulit dan isi badannya dicarik oleh rantai besi tadi..
Akhirnya Yesus diserahkan kepada pendeta Yahudi tadi, dan Governor tidak mahu masuk campur lagi.
Yesus akhirnya dihukum salib oleh para pendeta Yahudi tadi...
Yesus mengangkat kayu salibnya sendiri, walaupun keadaan fizikal nya yg sudah parah, dan sepanjang perjalanan menuju Calvaria (bukit penyaliban), dia terus menerus diseksa...
Yesus pun disalib pada hari jumaat (Good Friday), dan bangkit dari kematian pada hari Ahad (Easter).
apa yang aku ingin sampaikan disini, mengikut fahaman aku,
Good Friday diraikan utk mengingati peristiwa Yesus disalib, disebabkan kekejaman dan kejahatan org Yahudi yang memusuhi Yesus.
konflik antara agama Judaisme dan Kristian adalah lebih besar sebenarnya dibanding konflik Islam-Kristian atau Islam-Yahudi,
kerana konflik ini melibatkan kejahatan org Yahudi terhadap Tuhan org Kristian,
sedangkan permusuhan org Islam dan Kristian adalah lebih kepada sejarah perang Salib,
dan permusuhan Islam dan Yahudi adalah lebih kepada penjajahan org Yahudi di negara Palestin.

persoalannya, mengapa Kristian lebih senang bekerjasama dgn Yahudi, sedangkan konflik antara mereka sgt besar, melibatkan Tuhan mereka org Kristian?
hurm...
patutlah org Yahudi menentang dan membantah filem The Passion of Christ ini...



p/s- i wonder why i am not funny anymoree. waa.
must be this study thingy which had shapen me into this boring kind of person.

uwerghhhhh

Saturday, April 11, 2009

malam jumaat...

malam jumaat yg lepas,

aku lupa...

tapi aku pun tak paham kenapa malam jumaat sering dikaitkan dgn hal2 yg mistik...


tp aku mmg lupa hari tu kamis, menjelang malam jumaat.

aku pun lepak la cc sampai azan maghrib.

aku pun pulanglah dr cc, berjalan kaki sejauh 800m ke rumah sewa aku...

jalan tu mmg sunyi, kena melewati kuburan pulak..

tp aku cekalkan hati, kalau tak, tak balik la aku. hehehe


sampai je kawasan kuburan tu, cam2 benda terfikir....

tetiba, aku tgk satu kuburan ni, ada kain putih yg menyelubunginya...

WAAAA!!! apa benda la tu?

mana tak aku pecuuttt!!!!

tp aku masih tak igt malam tu malam jumaat...

sampai la kat rumah, aku kol kawan aku...
waktu aku tgh berbual dgn kawan aku, ada sekor kucing atas bumbung 'jeling' aku...
aku rasa seram gakkk...

tetiba kawan aku kata, mlm tu mlm jumaatt...

uishhh!


org sini suka buat benda pelik kat kuburan la.

dulu skali waktu aku lalu kuburan tu lepas maghrib, ada beberapa org di sana, pastu aku terbau kemenyan...

kawan aku pernah cerita, disini biasa kalau mayat yg baru dikubur 'diganggu' utk bermacam keperluan mistik...

persoalannya,

kenapa perlu ada kain putih yg menutupi kuburan tadi...


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

2 ekor nyamuk



baru cerita pasal riak kan?

heheh

ni aku nak cerita pasal aku plak.

perkara kecik yg buat aku tersenyum sipu

yesterday we had a lab on parasitology, topic on mosquito as vector of diseases.

so there are different type of mosquitos potentially carries viruses / parasites / etc, and these phatogens can be transmitted to the human by mosquito bite.

the task is, we need to draw certain part of different mosquitos that are important in differentiating them. i think there were about 8 slides total we need to observe under the microscope,

but i only managed to draw two, and i didn't draw the certain parts that we are supposed to draw, i came out with the whole part of the mosquito, because i never enjoy lab act so much as i did yesterday. we get to draw things!!! heheh

*tskk*

people kept passing me by, and saying nice thing to me

"waa, artistic nye, cantek la lukisan engkau"
"omG. rafshan, u really seems to enjoy this, and ur drawing are good, while others try to avoid drawing them"
dan lain2 compliments yg aku accept dgn senang hati. hehehh.

even one tutor look at my drawing and said "kayaknya kamu udah salah jurusan ni.. kenapa ga ke fakultas arsitek hehe" (seems like u r at wrong faculty / course, why u didn't took architecture? hehe)


oh ya, one thing is, i like compliments very well. hehehh

i don't think my drawing wasn't that great, only mediocre, or least?

as I always said, "if i am great at a thing, i should have made money out of it, instead of spending 6 years here studying about human".


whatever.

so these two are the drawing that i made, and the subjects on slides that i drew was observed under a microscope.

gigih tak?? heheh






Wednesday, April 1, 2009

alasan untuk sombong

pre-script - sombong dalam artikel ni, aku ertikan sebagai riak, takbur, meninggi diri, etc.

memang ada orang sombong.

sombong mestilah bersebab kan?

biasanya org sombong ni, dia merasakan diri dia lebih JAUH LEBIH BAIK dibanding dgn orang lain kan?

jadi dia rasa dia layak untuk sombong

tapi, orang BAIK takkan sombong.

sombong adalah perkara buruk, jadi, orang yang sombong BUKANLAH orang yang JAUH LEBIH BAIK dibanding orang lain.

malah, dia lebih BURUK dibanding orang lain.

jadi kawan2, jangan sombong ye